mindbodymama: A Brief History of Me

I wanted to feel safe. I was always afraid.

I wanted to have dreams.  I thought I’d have the wrong dreams.

I wanted to belong.  I was always hiding.

I wanted to have friends.  I was too shy to make friends.

I wanted to be strong.  I was always crying.

I wanted to tell the truth.  I kept quiet.

I wanted to be loved.  I was always alone.

I wanted to have faith.  I didn’t believe what they told me.

I wanted to have a body.  I was ashamed.

I wanted to love a girl.  I was hurt by a woman.

I wanted to go to Brown.  I went crazy.

I wanted to study English.  I studied religion.

I wanted help.  No one helped me.

I wanted to have a home.  I kept moving.

I wanted to have a friend.  My friend died.

I wanted to love a girl.  The girl I loved left.

I wanted to have dreams.  I dreamed of being a mom.

I wanted to feel safe.  I learned to fight back.

I wanted to be a writer.  I became a martial artist.

I wanted to have a body.  I moved into my body.

I wanted to belong.  I came out.

I wanted to be strong.  I was brave.

I wanted to love a girl.  I love my wife.

I wanted to be loved.  My wife loves me.

I wanted to feel safe.  I taught others to be safe.

I wanted to be a writer.  I stopped writing.

I wanted to have a home.  My house is filled with books and music.

I wanted to have a body.  I grew a baby in my body.

I wanted to be a mother.  I am my daughter’s mother.

I wanted to have a friend.  My friend taught me to be a mom.

I wanted to feel safe.  My daughter is safe.

I wanted to be strong.  I keep fighting.

I wanted to have faith.  I prayed for courage.

I wanted to feel safe.  I left people who were not safe.

I wanted to have friends. I lost friends.

I wanted to belong.  I found better friends.

I wanted help.  People helped me.

I wanted to tell the truth.  I started writing.

I wanted to have faith.  I grew my faith.

I wanted to have dreams.  I still have dreams.